


Numb

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Cursed Child, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Scorbus, scorpius x albus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 06:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17017446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: Scorpius had not been feeling himself, understandably considering the threats and rumours had only grown and followed him into his fifth year. Struggling to get Scorpius to open up, Albus feels lost until a Scorpius endures a Quidditch 'accident' and finally decides to open up about how and why he's been so distant.





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.  
> Trigger warnings: Talk of self-harm and depressive thoughts.

Scorpius had been acting strange since the beginning of their fifth year at Hogwarts. Sure, he was still his big, bubbly self in all ways that Scorpius had always been, but there was something bothering him and Albus couldn’t quite work out what. Of course, it had just been a year since their time-turning antics in fourth year, and the relationship they found themselves in at the end of fourth year was all very new and maybe all this along with the pressure of O.W.Ls and Scorpius’s newest obsession with Quidditch was just simply a built up amount of pressure. Whatever it was, whenever Albus asked, Scorpius shut him down, painting a big fake smile on his face and insisting he was fine. Albus didn’t mind, whatever it was wasn’t a problem Scorpius had with him because he was acting no different. He just seemed more distant, like he wouldn’t quite look you in eye when he spoke to you anymore, and it was starting to worry Albus more than anything.

On return to their fifth year, Albus thought the aftermath of Delphi and the death of their prefect Craig would have died down and that would have been the case. Only the ministry’s investigation into Delphi finished late August, meaning everything was in print and at the height of gossip when Albus and Scorpius returned to school. Despite the news being out, rumours still flew around, most of them regarding Scorpius and his heritage. It seemed that confirming Voldemort did have a child only made the rumours grow, because if he can have one child then he can certainly have two. Scorpius claimed it didn’t affect him when they walked through the halls together and many, many people shouted insults and names at him. He claimed it didn’t bother him when he walked into the Great Hall one day with a bruised eye from where some seventh year punched him for ‘simply just existing, Voldemort’s son’. He claimed it didn’t bother him when the people who tolerated him before now avoided him like the plague. He claimed it didn’t bother him when someone wished him dead and told him to ‘watch his back’. He claimed all this, but Albus knew, deep down, it bothered him more than he let on.

Albus had grown closer to his family over summer, the nightmares of Delphi, of Scorpius being tortured and killed, of his dad never coming to save him, of his grandparents’ dead, died down. In fact, Albus hardly got them anymore. However, Scorpius grew distant from his dad and he didn’t tell Albus why. Scorpius’ nightmares grew stronger, more vivid, scarier and most nights he woke in a sweat, screaming for Albus who was always at his side. Scorpius had definitely seen better months, his eyes constantly tired because who can focus on quidditch, school work, spending time with Albus and juggling constant mental battles – awake and asleep. Albus sometimes wanted to shake him, force him to stop for one moment and breathe because he simply wasn’t allowing himself to repair from the mental damage. At night, cuddled in bed with him, Albus told him to focus, to breathe, to open up. Scorpius claimed he was fine.

However, despite everything, Albus was very impressed with how he did handle everything, even if he was tearing apart at the seams. And today was Scorpius’ first quidditch match, and unfortunately for both of them it was against Gryffindor. Where Albus normally hated quidditch, he went to watch Scorpius – Slytherin’s newest seeker. Albus knew he had trained hard over the summer to get onto the team, and he’ll never forget the smile on his face when Finn Lovle, the captain, chose him over every other contender. Albus had watched him practice sometimes and noticed that even his own teammates weren’t exactly friendly, but simply put up with him because he was, well, brilliant.

The game had been going on for twenty minutes so far, and Albus mostly admired how his boyfriend cut through the wind, his beautiful blond locks flowing behind him. He had grown slightly over summer, putting him much taller than Albus now, but leaner in an almost graceful way. He would have been graceful if he was anyone but Scorpius, but Albus loved him for his geeky, clumsy ways.

Albus stood up when he noticed Scorpius come eye-to-eye with the Golden Snitch. He wasn’t really familiar with most the rules of quidditch, but he knew that Scorpius had to catch that for Slytherin to win. As much as he loved James – his brother and Captain of the Gryffindor team – and his cousin Rose, he wanted Scorpius to win more than anything. Maybe then he’ll open up to Albus about what’s been bugging him so much.

Albus’ biggest fear, however, was that very person to told Scorpius to watch his back last week was also one of the Beaters’ for the Gryffindor team. Watching Scorpius play so close to someone who had basically threatened his life made Albus both angry and terrified. Dante Avery had been taunting Scorpius and Albus since first year, but it was only recently that the Gryffindor Beater had actually threatened one of their lives. It only made Albus angrier that it was his boyfriends’ life.

Albus watched on, Scorpius flying through the wind whilst the rest of the game seemed to carry on without him, he was preoccupied by the Snitch and the Gryffindor seeker hadn’t even noticed yet. The game had been temporarily stopped ten minutes in when Dante’s bat had ‘slipped’ out of his hand and straight towards Scorpius and in an attempt to dodge it, Scorpius fell from his broom and collided harshly with the floor. Finn called foul play and the game was paused whilst they checked on their seeker, after all with no seeker there’s no fair game. Albus looked on with worry as Scorpius stood on his own, limped over to his broom and got back on it, with a look of determination and will power on his face. Albus had never seen him look so threatening and brave, and he very much liked it.

“What’s Dante doing? He’s going to hurt someone soon,” Albus’ head turned towards an older Slytherin girl who was pointing right at Dante. Following her point, he saw him. He was stationary on his broom, looking over at the other Beater on the Gryffindor team – his cousin Rose. He was twirling his bat eloquently, looking at Rose with fire in his eyes. Albus weren’t sure what the other girl had been talking about, to Albus it just looked like he wasn’t even trying to play, and he just figured he’d missed whatever Dante was doing previously for her to make the accusation.

If you had been watching the whole thing, you’d have seen the plan in action. Bludgers, as everyone knows, tend to have a mind of their own. It’s certainly not uncommon to be hit with one, it was almost every game that some student ended up in the hospital wing. It made Albus’ stomach turn just thinking about it, about Scorpius being in danger with those things flying around. But, if you had been watching, which the other girl had been, you would have seen Dante’s wand, hidden up his sleeve but still present. You’d have seen the suggestive looks to Rose, anyone who had a pair of eyes could see they were planning something. You had also seen the slight movement of his mouth which could only mean he was attempting to cast a charm. Then finally, you would have seen as the bludger, under control of Dante went flying towards Rose, who batted it away effectively towards a certain seeker on the opposing team.

Albus gasped and raised out of his seat along with the rest of Slytherin house. Scorpius – who had been moments away from catching the Snitch and winning his first ever game – had took a bludger to the stomach which had effectively knocked him off his broom and, for the second time this game, straight onto the Quidditch grounds. Albus, a pang in his chest from what could only be worry and heartache, had never ran so fast before in his life down the stairs and onto the pitch. He was there moments after Madame Hooch, who touched down rather stealthily to run over to Scorpius. Finn and the other Slytherin team members touched down not long after and crowded Scorpius. Albus, his heart in his mouth and feeling slightly nauseas, collapsed to the ground next to his boyfriend, his best friend, the one person he couldn’t live without. He should have been angry that someone wanted to hurt him, but right now all he could feel was fear. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, the fear of losing Scorpius, the one person he needed in his life the most.

“Scorpius?” He whispered. The boy lay barely conscious on the floor, his eyes fluttering in an attempt to stay conscious, but he was struggling. Around him there was chatter from the stands and Madame Hooch screaming for medical. Scorpius’ team were getting more riled up at the opposite team, shouting to Headmistress McGonagall how it was ‘obviously a direct attack on Scorpius’. It was the first time Albus had seen any of them stick up for him and it made his heart warm. Slytherin’s are like that, you see, they protect their own. “Scorp, please stay with us,” a tear rolled down Albus’ cheek and onto the floor. As he followed it, he noticed something in Scorpius’ hand.

“Albus?” Scorpius murmured, and Albus instantly grabbed that hand, lifting it up to his mouth and kissing it. That was when Scorpius uncurled his fist and out came flying the Golden Snitch. The Slytherin crowd instantly erupted into cheers and laughter, whereas the team and the professors on the pitch looked at Scorpius in shock and awe. He’d won, despite being basically knocked out.

Abruptly, Scorpius let out a loud scream of pain, like the hit and the fall had only just truly registered with him. He clasped down onto Albus’ hand, nothing but sheer anguish and gasps befalling the boys’ lips. It was then a Madame Pomfrey and a couple of other Matron’s came storming onto the pitch. In what seemed like one quick motion, Scorpius had been taken from the pitch and into the school’s infirmary. Albus ran after them as quickly as he could, leaving the aftermath to the professors.

 

______

 

_Scorpius tossed and turned in his bed, begging for sleep to overcome him, to engulf him and take him momentarily out of this world, of this nightmare. He wished every day for him to wake, but this wasn’t a dream, it was his reality. The first night in this world he got out of bed and walked over to Albus’, though it wasn’t Albus in there. It was some random boy, because Scorpius had erased Albus from existence altogether._

_Scorpius eventually slept and woke to someone shouting his name the next day._

_“Scorpius, today’s the day,” they spoke, he hadn’t bothered to learn anyone’s name. What was today? Scorpius began playing with the corner of his bedsheets, but quickly stopped. He wouldn’t do that, the Scorpion King would not be nervous._

_“What’s today?” He asked, attempting his voice to come off bitter, though he feared he sounded like a scared little boy._

_“Your duel with the mudblood first year, get ready,” his head spun. He was going to duel a first year that even though had magic had never been taught how to use it. The worst thing is, Scorpius knew he had no way out of it._

_His hands were shaking whilst he stood outside the Duelling room, his robe tight around his chest and constricting his breathing. Stop, he thought to himself. You can’t be like you, you have to be The Scorpion King, but it was hard to be someone you’re not. The chants coming from inside the Duelling Room were so loud they nearly drowned out Scorpius’ thoughts. The doors opened wide, and Scorpius made his way inside, forcing his arms to his side and putting on a determined look._

_“Scorpion King! Scorpion King! Scorpion King!” The crowd chanting over and over as he made his way down the Duelling Room to the spot dedicated to him. The crowd suddenly turned into boos as Scorpius turned around and saw the first year being dragged into the room, his hands shackled and face bruised. That’s my fault, he thought to himself._

_“Kill him, Scorpius!”_

_“Get rid of the scum once and for all.”_

_The crowd were aching for the Duel to start, and every spell he’d ever learnt went through Scorpius’ mind. One popped into his mind, one he had never learnt but had read plenty about and somewhere deep down a memory stirred of his previous use of the spell. It was horrifying and scary, but Scorpius knew he had to channel that feeling. To cast the curse he had to be angry, he had to mean it. So, Scorpius channelled every single ounce of anger he had. Most of it was towards himself, or towards the father who, in this world, refused to help him. There was fire in his eyes as he looked up. The bell signified the beginning of the duel and Scorpius shouted the words he swore he would never say again._

_“Crucio!” A beam of red light coursed from his wand, and the boy collapsed to the floor in pain._

_______ _

Scorpius woke in a sweat. He didn’t scream, or cry, he only gasped. The memories of the dream came swarming back and filled his head, blurring his vision. It was the slight pull of his hand that pulled Scorpius back into the room, and he looked down to see Albus asleep on the chair next to him, squeezing Scorpius’ hand repetitively like he often did in his sleep. Seeing Albus asleep brought a warm feeling into his heart.

Scorpius looked around, recognising the room instantly as the infirmary. He had spent plenty of time here volunteering with Madame Pomfrey over the years he’s spent at Hogwarts, it helped him with his desire to become a healer. The room was dimly lit, just enough so it’s inhabitants could sleep, but also so the matrons can do their job.

A dull ache pounded through Scorpius’ head, it was so strong it almost felt like his head would explode. He put his free hand over his eyes in an attempt to dissipate the pain, but it did little for it. The memories of the incident suddenly came back to Scorpius. He wasn’t entirely sure what happened, but he remembered the pain of being hit and the drop to the floor. His body felt achy, but other than that the pain had eased, after all Madame Pomfrey was very good at her job.

At the end of his hospital bed were dozens of cards and gifts and Scorpius felt mostly confused as to why. Most people tended to avoid him now more than ever due to rumours of his heritage only increasing. He moved towards the end of the bed, releasing his hand from Albus’ grip, to which he returned a groan. Scorpius quickly went through the cards and gifts, looking for one name in particular. Most of them were from Albus or his family – he had visited a lot over summer and felt they’d grown quite fond of him – as well as others from his Quidditch team, wishing him well and that he returns to the field soon enough. Another was from Madame Hooch, Professor McGonagall and his team, and inside the box attached to the note was a Golden Snitch. No. The Golden Snitch. He’d won. How did he win? He scrambled for the note to make sure he was, in fact, not dreaming.

‘I think this was well deserved,’ it read, and Scorpius smiled.

He carried on looking through the notes and gifts, getting more and more flustered and angry and upset when each one revealed to be from someone other than the one person he wanted. Eventually, after moments of shuffling through them over and over in case he missed one, he swiped some of the cards onto the floor, letting out a disgruntled scream and let warm tears roll down his pale cheeks.

“Scorpius?” Albus questioned, jumping from his seat and onto Scorpius’ bed. His arms were instantly around the sobbing boy, who sat hopelessly on his knees at the end of the bed.

“It’s not here,” he spoke through sobs, his voice quiet and strained.

“What isn’t?” Scorpius knew that it was required of the school to send an owl home whenever a student ended up in the infirmary, telling exactly how the incident happened and how the recovery is going. Therefore, his dad should know and therefore should have at least sent a card wishing him well.

“My dad hasn’t sent anything, and I don’t even know why I’m surprised,” his voice deflated, and he detangled himself from Albus’ arms and lay down, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Scorp, what happened between you and your dad?” Albus hadn’t moved, just turned to face him.

“Can you just cuddle me and help me fall asleep please?” Albus, thankfully, didn’t push him any further. He did as Scorpius asked, and curled up in the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around Scorpius’ waist and pressing his chest against Scorpius’ back, holding him tightly. It took a while, and Scorpius was sure Albus had fallen asleep before him, but eventually he drifted into a deep sleep.

_____

The next morning Scorpius woke to an empty bed and a feeling of emptiness spread over his heart. Albus must have gone to class or something and didn’t want to wake him. Madame Pomfrey came stumbling over.

“Honestly boy, you’ve been in this bed more times than not recently, is everything okay?” Madame Pomfrey asked, starting to unwrap a bandage from around Scorpius’ leg that he hadn’t noticed being there last night. Scorpius nodded, even though she wasn’t looking at him, but she never pushed him for an answer. Once she’d finished on his ankle, she placed her hand under his chin and pushed so he was looking up at her. “Your bruises have gone down nicely but will probably stick around for a couple more days and you may feel a bit of pain in your ribs and collar bone. The breaks are healed but as you know it takes a few days to fully fix.” Finally, Scorpius looked at her. He was looking up at her, but his eyes were unfocused and foggy as he tried to fix his gaze on her.

“What was wrong with me?” She looked a bit taken aback, removing her hand from Scorpius’ chin.

“You don’t remember?” Scorpius shook his head, figuring she had told him before but he’d forgotten. “You were hit by a bludger and fell off your broom,” she began, that part he remembered. “The bludger broke three of your ribs and caused severe bruising in the abdomen, and the fall broke your collarbone, gave you a concussion and slight whiplash. You were in and out of consciousness for two days.” Two days? “The bruises on your face I suspect are from the fall.”

“No,” Scorpius interrupted. “The bruises aren’t from Quidditch,” her face was inquisitive, and Scorpius looked down, embarrassed. “People haven’t been very nice to me recently, let’s just leave it at that,” she didn’t question him anymore.

“You’re free to go Mr. Malfoy, I suggest a couple days off classes, but I know you and know that I could never force you.” She smiled at him before walking off. Scorpius gathered his things; the cards had been picked up and placed back on the table at the end of his bed. There was a fresh pair of robes on the chair where Albus previously sat, so Scorpius closed the curtains around his bed and changed into them. He felt… off. He’d felt off for months, like there was some kind of hole inside him. He couldn’t remember the last time he genuinely smiled.

Once changed, Scorpius picked up the cards and gifts and exited the infirmary, taking the long walk down to the Slytherin common room. He was in desperate need of a hot shower. Dumping his belongings on his bed as soon as he got there, Scorpius made his way to the shower, turning the dial up to a bearable heat and stepped inside.

He let the heat and the steam wash away any thoughts he had. He felt numb, he’d felt that way for a while. It was easy to smile and laugh and joke around when you knew people would question why you weren’t your usual self. In fact, Scorpius found it so much easier to act exactly like he was before than he’d initially thought. Mostly, around Albus anyway, it wasn’t an act, he was an excitable dork and loved being around Albus. He made it easier to be himself. But, he knew Albus had seen him every time his eyes went unfocused or his mind ran away with him. He just didn’t have to heart to tell him why. He knew most of it, of course, the nightmares and the bullies and the piles and piles of schoolwork and quidditch practice. Scorpius had found juggling his O.W.Ls work much harder than initially suspected, and the last few days in the hospital have been the longest he’s slept since summer.

The numbness in his heart never dissipated. If anything, thinking about all this only made it grow. Dante Avery and Rose Granger-Weasley nearly killed him on that pitch and Scorpius had no idea why. He had left Rose alone following the last time he’d asked her out and she slapped him with so much force his cheek stung for the whole day, and since he had left her alone and started dating her cousin, she’d been some-what civil with him. Dante, however, had threatened his life the previous week, but he’d never expected he’d go through with the threat. Apparently, he genuinely did not care if Scorpius lived or died.

Desperate for the numbness to disappear, for him to feel something, Scorpius did something he’d often find himself doing in the past three months. He turned the heat up all the way on the shower and turned so his back was the prime target for the excruciating heat, letting the pain fill him up, letting it overtake all his senses. His back burned red, but for once Scorpius didn’t feel so empty. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there for, until his back could no longer take the scorch, and turned it down to a more acceptable heat.  
Scorpius stepped out shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and headed back into his dorm. There sat, unexpectedly, Albus on Scorpius’ bed. Scorpius stopped in his tracks, no one was supposed to be in here, but he was relieved that it was Albus.

“Scorp, hey there you are! I went to get you some breakfast this morning and when I came back, Madame Pomfrey said she had discharged you, so I came back here hoping to find you. I hope you don’t mind, I was just going through some of your cards. The Quidditch team seemed really worried abo-.”

“It’s pity,” Scorpius interrupted, walking over and sitting opposite him on his bed. He fumbled with a piece of paper on his bed, not looking up at Albus. In his heart, he knew it was time to tell his boyfriend why he’d been so off, even if he weren’t ready to talk about it. “They don’t really care about me, they care that they won’t have a seeker, which is why I’m quitting the team.” Albus looked at him, stunned. Scorpius had never quit anything before in his life, even when he was tumbled into a different world, when it would have been so, so easy to give up, he didn’t.

“You’re quitting? But, Scorp, you love Quidditch.”

“Yeah, but Quidditch doesn’t love me,” a tear rolled down his cheek despite his best efforts to stop it. Albus moved closer and pulled Scorpius into a hug. Scorpius became all too aware of his back, and how hot and red he knew it would be and prayed that Albus didn’t notice.

“Scorp, why is your back so hot?” He noticed. Albus’ pulled away to look at Scorpius, who wouldn’t meet his eyes, but his hand stayed on the burning circle on his back. His cold hands were refreshing against the burn. Albus stood up and looked at his back. “Scorpius what is this?”

“The shower was hot,” he mumbled, moving slightly from Albus’ touch. Albus came back to sit on the bed, grabbing Scorpius’ hands in his. The way Scorpius didn’t meet his eyes told Albus that he knew he was lying. That yes, the shower was hot, but only because Scorpius wanted it to be. For a while neither of them spoke, Albus didn’t want to push it. But if Scorpius was hurting himself, he wanted to know so he could help him. Then, Scorpius broke down crying and buried his head in Albus’ chest.

It wasn’t first time Scorpius had cried in front of him, but every time he did it made his heart constrict. Scorpius was kind, and sweet and funny and smart and everything Albus wanted to be. He didn’t deserve the pain he was put through every single day. He didn’t deserve the bullies and the nightmares, he deserved to be loved and not just by Albus but by everyone. Seeing him upset nearly every night made Albus want to hold him tight, wrap him up in bubble wrap, and protect him from the darkest corners of the world. He felt anger, so much anger, towards everyone who had ever wronged him, or hurt him. But right now, he held him, so tight he thought he might break him. But could Albus break him anymore than Scorpius had already been broken?

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius finally mumbled, and Albus rubbed his back, the burn now slightly cooling down. “I did it on purpose,” and that one sentence confirmed Albus’ fears. Albus pulled away from the hug, moving his hands to Scorpius’ cheeks and lifting his head to look at him. His eyes, almost glassed over, looked to Albus’. His eyes looked tired, swollen and red. This wasn’t the first time he had cried today, Albus could tell.

“Scorpius,” Albus spoke his name with love and pain. “Talk to me,” it was a simple statement, but one that he hoped would make Scorpius feel loved and welcomed enough to finally tell him what’s been on his mind. Again, there was a long pause. Then, Scorpius pulled away from the hug and looked at Albus. Actually looked at him for what seemed like the first time in months, it made Albus want to cry. Scorpius was finally going to open up to him.

“I feel…” Scorpius paused whilst searching his mind for the right word. It was very rare that Scorpius was stuck for words. “Numb,” he settled on. “Not all the time. Sometimes I am okay, mostly when I’m around you because you make me so, so happy. But, at night when I’m alone, or during free periods when you’re in class, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel empty.” Albus didn’t say anything, he just grabbed Scorpius’ hands to stop him from fidgeting with them himself and held them tightly.

“It’s been that way for a while,” he continued. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his voice was brittle and full of emotion. “But, the,” he stopped and took a deep breath. “That,” he said, gesturing to his back. “That’s new, it started in the summer when something happened, and it’s been hard to stop. It sounds stupid, but it helps me feel something when my body feels empty.”

“It’s not stupid, Scorp.” Scorpius removed his gaze from Albus and looked down at their entwined hands, he was itching to fumble with them but Albus wouldn’t let him. “I can help you, I know what it’s like to feel like that. We can work together, find something that helps you feel and channel it into something healthier than harming yourself.” Scorpius was nodding, tears once again falling down the pale boys’ cheeks. “Scorpius, what happened?”

Again, Scorpius went silent, removing one hand from Albus’ grip to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Albus studied him for a moment, the way his tired eyes never settled on just one thing to look at. They were always moving, looking for something but never finding anything interesting enough to stop at, until his eyes reached Albus’. His lips looked swollen and bruised, and Albus knew that was because Scorpius had the worst habit of picking at them with his fingers when he was nervous or biting them. His cheeks flustered red, a bright colour compared to his usual pale and the bruising around his eye was just starting to settle, but Albus knew it would still be painful. He was beautiful, in every way that a person could be, even when he looked beaten down and bruised he was still the brightest shining light in the whole of Hogwarts.

“You know I had an argument with my dad, that much I told you in an owl and you noticed I started spending more time at yours this summer than at my own. But, I never told you what happened did I?” Albus shook his head, too nervous to speak for fear the boy would retreat into himself and never speak a word of this again.

“I never told him about us,” Scorpius felt Albus’ grip loosen on his hands, or maybe he just imagined it. “No, wait,” but Albus wasn’t going anywhere. “I had every intention to when I received your owl that morning that said you had told your parents and they were fine and that I was welcome anytime. I plucked the courage up all day, and it was that day I realised why I’d never be a Gryffindor,” both boys let out a small giggle. “Anyway, dad found me in mum’s office that day when he got back from work, and he was fuming. I wasn’t allowed in there, you see, it was mums place and only he was allowed in there. Well, I didn’t find that very fair and kickstarted an argument we’d had plenty of times before. That one ended with him calling me a disappointment when I started crying, saying how he wished he had a son that took more after him. I wasn’t even upset, like I was, obviously, but I was also so angry. She’s my mum, I should be able t-” his voice quivered, and he took a moment to compose himself, willing himself not to cry again because God dammit, Scorpius, stop being such a wimp¸ thought to himself.

“Anyway, when my dad went to the kitchen to make dinner I snuck down into his office.” Scorpius quickly changed the subject. “Technically, I am allowed in there but usually not without his permission. I started rummaging through the draws, not even sure what I was looking for. There was something out of place in my mums’ office and I assumed my dad had taken it and I wanted to put it back, I figured I’d know what it was when I found it. I opened a draw and in it was a postcard, which was weird because it was sent through muggle post, with a picture of my Grandparents. Only, I had only seen them when they were in their 40s, my dad told me they had both died. But, in this picture they were older, at least by twenty years and I knew then they weren’t dead. That he had lied to me when I was a kid to stop me asking about them.

“On the back read ‘Draco, I know you haven’t been speaking to us, and that things have been hard since Astoria died, but we would very much like the see you, to mend the ripple in our family. Lots of love, Narcissa.’ The anger inside me seemed to grow, and I stormed down to the kitchen and slammed the letter on the table in front of my dad.”

 

_“You told me they were dead,” Scorpius shouted, anger firing inside his chest. He rarely ever felt anger, it wasn’t an emotion he was particularly familiar with._

_“Scorpius, whatever are you babbling about now, I’m too tired to do-” his father paused once he saw the postcard lying on the table between them. He looked at his son and saw a look he was all too familiar with. Ire. Though he had never seen it plastered on his son’s face, only his own when he was the same age. He immediately regretted his earlier words, telling Scorpius he wished him to be more like him._

_“I want to see them, I want to meet my grandparents, dad.” He spat the last word out, as though it was the worst thing in the world._

_“No.” It was a simple statement._

_“Why not?”_

_“They aren’t nice people, Scorpius.”_

_“They’re my grandparents. Don’t I get to decide that for myself? All my life you’ve been deciding things for me but keeping them from me might have been one of your worst decisions yet. Take me.”_

_“Absolutely not.” Draco raised his wand and pointed it at the postcard, and Scorpius leaned over and placed his hand on top of it, knowing his dad wouldn’t cast a spell that could potentially hurt him. Scorpius picked it up off the table and sent a scowl towards his dad._

_“Fine.” He spat and walked out the living with almost as much grace as Draco Malfoy himself._

____ _ _

“What did you do then?” Albus asked, shuffling closer to Scorpius, who was now shivering. Albus had almost forgotten that he only sported a towel around his waist and leaned over to get a blanket to wrap around him. Scorpius looked thankful for the gesture.

“I went to the duelling room,” sometimes Albus forgot how big Malfoy Manor actually was, he’d only been there a couple of times in the past. “I started practicing spells ready for the new year, trying to distract myself from the first time this empty feeling appeared in my chest. But, a spell I did went wrong and backfired on me. That was the first time I realised pain was always the one feeling I’d be able to have even if I couldn’t feel anything else.” He looked down, and Albus was quick to put a hand under his chin and lift his head. He had nothing to feel ashamed of.

“Then, I had an idea,” he continued. “A rather reckless one, but I am a Slytherin after all. I pocketed my wand and grabbed my broom and left the house. My dad didn’t notice I had gone or didn’t come after me if he did. I flew to my grandparents’ house,” Albus looked at him with pure shock. Scorpius was rarely ever so reckless and never used magic outside of school without his father’s permission. “Once I got there, I didn’t really know what to say, but I knocked on the door anyway.”

____ _ _

_Scorpius suddenly felt like a small child again when he knocked on the door to his grandparents’ house. He’d never been in this part of town before, it looked peaceful and nice. The door opened, and behind it stood a tall man, too much like his own father but significantly older, and beside him a smaller woman, her hair once black now going grey. Scorpius wanted to put his head down and stare at his feet, but he resisted the urge, and played with the end of his broom instead._

_“Hi, I’m Scorpius…” he paused, and his grandparents gave no indication that they knew of any Scorpius. “Malfoy.” He grandfather faltered at the word. “I’m your grandson.” It was almost like ‘grandson’ was Narcissa’s trigger word because she broke down crying not long after. Lucius, his grandfather, put an arm around her, and in one quick movement grabbed Scorpius with a fierce hand and pulled him into the house._

_“Is this some kind of game, boy?” Scorpius wanted to rub his arm where his grandfather was pressing down, but he was yet to release him of his grip._

_“No, sir. I really am, I thought my father would have told you about me but apparently not.”_

_“We haven’t spoken to Draco in years.”_

_“He told me you were dead. When this came I just wanted to see you for myself.” Scorpius got the postcard out of his pocket and handed it to the tall, imposing man._

“Lucius contacted my dad through owl and we waited mostly for him to come and pick me up. Neither of them was particularly talkative with me, except Lucius who was repeatedly telling me how reckless I was and that he thought his son would raise me better. I got called a disappointment to the Malfoy name about four times, the second was when I started crying. When my dad arrived, he didn’t say anything to his parents, just grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out, I think I got a bruise there. I’d never seen him so angry, but I was angrier I think. He tried to force me into the car, but I pulled myself off him, screaming at him.”

______ _ _ _ _

_“Am I that much of a disappointment to you, dad, that you couldn’t even tell your own parents I existed?” Scorpius spat, pulling himself out of Draco’s grip before he could force him into the car. He wasn’t going home with him, that much he was sure about._

_“This isn’t about you, Scorpius.”_

_“It feels like it is. I knew why you hid me from the world but why them?”_

_“Because they-”_

_“Aren’t very nice people? Well guess what dad, you’re not exactly father of the year either.” Scorpius spat and with that mounted his broom and flew off into the night, leaving his dad astounded and upset._

“I thought about coming to yours, in fact I even flew past, but I didn’t want to drop in uninvited, so I just went home. Dad didn’t know I’d come back until Lula, our house elf, had informed him so.” Scorpius’ voice had gone quieter, almost as though he was ashamed of his actions and the harsh words spoken towards his dad.

“What happened next?” Albus felt his story was not quite finished.

“Nothing. We never spoke, and still haven’t. That’s why I asked to come to Diagon Alley with your family to get school supplies. I spoke to him the day before the first day back, asking him what time we were leaving to get to the platform. He told me to make my own way there as he was working. So I did.”

“Scorp, I’m so sorry,” Albus said, mostly because he had nothing else to say.

“I’m fine,” he said with a forced smile. “I just thought he’d check to see if I was okay, that’s all. Or at least congratulate me, he was a seeker too.” He sniffed, before standing up and deciding to put some clothes on. When he had changed, he lay down on the bed next to where Albus was sitting. Albus lay next to him, struggling to find words to comfort him, so he did what Albus knew he needed. He scooped Scorpius up into his arms, pulling him up so his head rested on Albus’ chest and he held him and would hold him for as long as Scorpius needed.

“Your dad loves you, Scorp. Just give him time.”

“I’m trying,” because he was, but it had been months and Scorpius was worried his dad had given up on him. So, he held on tight to only person he had right now, and mentally cursed himself for not telling Albus sooner. He felt asleep like that, crushed against his boyfriends’ chest and for the first time in months, a small smile crept upon his face.


End file.
